Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Disclaimer: I love my kids, my husband, my job and my home. I'm not trying to complain about my life. I'm just fessing up to the reality that I am a sinner with serious junk going on in my heart on a daily basis. And that I need the Lord to move me to repentance and to cause me to dwell in joy and thankfulness. Because left to my default sinful nature, I would never dwell there!

Have you ever realized that the psalmists often began their psalms (prayers) with a cruddy attitude? But as they prayed, the Lord changed their hearts to joy. My life totally mirrors that today.

I woke up in a funk. I'm not sure there is any other word for my state of being. I don't even know what my problem was. It's even a Wednesday - Lemon Poppyseed Scone at Great Harvest day. (Go get one- they are one of the best foods on earth, just ignore the 700 calorie label m'kay?). But, I was just grumbly.

Like King David when He said "How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? . . . How long must a I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? (Psalm 13:1-2). I felt the way that Jameson looks in this picture.

I have repented to my children more than once (or twice) this morning for my own behavior. We have sat down together and asked the Holy Spirit to please cause us to be kind and loving to each other. We have talked about the fruit of the Spirit. I am reminding myself that I can praise God that my (and their) grumpiness will help them to see the importance of repentance and forgiveness.

Because they were grouchy too. Compton kids apparently have this strange symptom during allergy season called aggressive grumpiness (yes, of course that is its technical name). It's actually a little bit Incredible Hulk-ish in Marshall. He morphs into a different child and can get seriously red-faced & balled-up fisted angry. And Eliza screams back "You are a meeeeeaaaaan brother!" Thank goodness Gram remembers Eric doing this every Spring when he was little and their pediatrician explaining it to her. Or I would be at a loss for this strange behavior. I keep telling myself it will go away soon. But, in the meantime I have moments where I feel like this, banging my head against a tray.

Funny enough, the little people who momentarily make me crazy are also the little people who the Lord uses to put a smile on my face and bring me crazy-joy.  How do you not find joy when a four-year-old has prepared a tea party for you?  BTW - please notice Eliza's hair. We are masking the mystery missing chunk of hair with a shorter haircut. Thank you to the fabulous Lindsey Ocupe. Still not 100% sure how that chunk was so short, but at least it's not driving me crazy anymore.

I mean, really, how can I be grumpy when Eric gave up his lunch out with MG so that he could come home and help me out, listen to me and just be my best friend for an hour? When I have a husband who knows me so well that he can pinpoint what is wrong with me when I can't do it myself. When I have a husband who is kind enough to point out my worldly thinking. And to point me to Jesus and His Truth.

And as I sit here with the Word open, and start conversing with the Lord during naptime/solitary confinement (oops! I mean, quiet time) the Lord is showing me all of the reasons I have for joy. And He is moving me. Moving me to the end of that same psalm where King David's heart has been changed and he says, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." (Psalm 13:5-6). Did you notice that there were only two verses between King David's lamenting and his joyful singing? Two. little. verses. God can change our hearts so fast.

Thankful for a God who knows me so well that He can move me. out of my self-centered nature. to repentance. and joy. and contentment.

These last two pictures mean I'm finally as hip as all my friends and have joined the instagram world. You can follow me. My username is joceycompton. Eric was already hip. His username is etcmptn.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jocelyn....little do you understand the wisdom of your words. May God continue to bless you with JOY and knowledge of his love and peace. Satan is not going to like you this week : ) You chose to go to the Lord and that is not part of his plan! You go girl! So proud of how you shut him down on your 'grumpy' day!

Janice P