Dancing Their Hearts Out

Another year of dance class has wrapped up for both Marshall, Eliza and . . . Eric! (I'll explain). I was so proud of ALL of my dancers!

Our 2013 dance recital was held last weekend at the Elsinore Theatre. This year, Eliza decided to try Irish dance in lieu of ballet and jazz. Eliza had a great year dancing. She loves her teacher, Miss Holly. And her class was the sweetest group of eight little girls, ages 4-6. They learned Irish-T, partner swaps and jigs. For little girls, there are some definite draws to Irish dance including the lace-up shoes (gillies) and the massive wig of curly hair. I wish I could say that I created all those curls myself. We moms from Eliza's class got our stories straight, and agreed that, if anyone asked, the answer was it took 3.5 hours to do the girls hair.

The opposite of Eliza, Marshall gave up Irish dance to take ballet, jazz and hip hop. There were two other little boys in his class . . . he only wants to take dance if there are other boys in his class! Let me tell you, Marshall has some serious rhythm. He was invited to be in the opening performance of the recital this year, as well as the finale. He was a dinosaur in the opening, and a newsie in the finale. His weekly dance class performed together as fireflies. It all adds up to a lot of costume changes! And, since I was toting a 2 month old baby around, Eric took on the duties of a "stage dad," making sure all those costume changes happened on time. He's a pro!

The newsie performance is where Eric jumped in with his own dancing skills. As it turned out, each newsboy needed an adult family member to dance with them as a pirate. Convenient that Eric has that huge beard! He was the perfect pirate, and was a great sport about learning a hip hop dance that he performed on stage with Marshall. It's a great memory that neither of them will ever forget! And, there may or may not be a DVD viewing party at our house in a few weeks when we get the DVD of the whole performance . . . popcorn and Milk Duds provided!

He Does It Again

So, God showed up again. Not that I'm surprised. Well, maybe I am a little bit. In my humanness, I forget just how faithful He is.  Since I've already admitted that I'm a Christian music dork, I'll just say that whenever God shows up again (and again and again . . . ) it reminds me of these old Point of Grace lyrics:


You do it again, You do it again 
You speak to me just like a friend 
You always seem to show up right on time 
You do it again, I guess you know when 
My heart needs to hear your voice 
I'm so forgetful, that's why I'm thankful 
You do it again 

Sometimes I find myself wondering how in the world I am expected to know how to train up these children in the Lord. Where's the manual? Can't there just be a formula of x+y=z when it comes to raising little people? Even after reading "the best" parenting books I find myself stumped. What can I expect from them? What is just "kid behavior" that I need to let go of? How many activities are too many? What do I do about the quarreling? What do I do about the temper tantrums? Who gets the toy that they are fighting over? How do I discipline without causing shame?

More often than not, my confidence in my mom-skills is lacking. But, that's because I'm looking for my confidence in the wrong place. I'm looking for my confidence in myself, not in Jesus. I desperately want to be independent. I want to parent, be a wife, homemaker, friend and follower of Jesus by myself.  When it comes right down to it, I'm like my two-year-old who is determined to not hold my hand when we walk down the street, and who wants to do everything on his own so that he can proudly show me that he did it all by himself.

That's just not life following Jesus, not what He desires for us anyway. So, Jesus doesn't let me succeed on my own and in my own strength. He shows me that I require grace, and lots of it. As the amazing Paul David Tripp says in his book, Broken Down House:

Trying to live independent of the daily intervention of God and others is like trying to bake a cake in a washing machine. That washing machine is a wonderful creation, but it was never designed to do what you are asking it to do. All you will end up with is a soapy batter, a dirty machine, and a badly dented pan. Productive living is always rooted in a humble sense of personal neediness. This neediness only comes when you begin to understand and accept what the Bible has to say about sin, and daily reach out for the help that can only be found through the Lord Jesus Christ. 

This morning I was not feeling ready to face a day in the life of a stay at home homeschooling mom to four children. I felt grumpy and irritated and like I was going to just drag through the hours of this day. Then the Lord showed me something in Judges. Yes, Judges, of all books. God called Gideon to save the nation of Israel from the Midianites. Gideon's response is, "Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house." (Judges 6:15) Gideon was feeling his weakness. He looked at himself and his position in the world, and it didn't look too promising. 

But God knew Gideon's position and he still wanted Gideon to save Israel. He knew Gideon's personal neediness and it's just what the Lord wanted in a servant. Remember, productive living is always rooted in a humble sense of personal neediness. The Lord said to Gideon, "But I will be with you . . ." (Judges 6:16). Then as Gideon headed into battle, God trimmed Gideon's army down from 32,000 soldiers to just 300. Thirty-two thousand soldiers was just too many. "The Lord said to Gideon, 'The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, 'My own hand has saved me.''" (Judges 7:2).






Do you know how often I say to the Lord, "How can I raise these children? How can I be a 'good wife?' How can I be the woman you've called me to be?" And His response is always, "I know your downfalls, But I will be with you." To Him, my personal neediness - my sin, my shortcomings, my humanness - are essential because realizing my sin is what will cause me to reach out for the help that I will only find in Jesus.

It seems that adding a fourth child to our home has just magnified my sin! I feel like it has magnified all of the reasons that tumble around in my head that make me want to shout to the Lord, "don't you see this job is too big for me?" Don't you see who I am? How do you expect me to give You to this family?" But, I think adding Morrow was like the Lord cutting down Gideon's army from 32,000 to just 300. He gives me much to handle lest I would ever boast over Him saying "my own hand" has accomplished anything. God's desire is not for me to be like my independent two year old. He doesn't want me coming to Him to say, look what I did ALL BY MYSELF!' He doesn't want me boasting over Him. He desires to be with me in my daily work. And He desires to use my daily work for His Glory.  

Truly, truly, is there anything better than that? Is there anything better than having the Lord take my daily grind - my mess, my struggle and my ordinary life - and turn it into a display of His Splendor? 

Life Goes On

In the midst of newborn craziness, life goes on. A few Saturdays back, our mission group took over a bowling alley for the most chaotic bowling experience you've ever seen. Kids far outnumbered adults.

After bowling, we moved the party to Dairy Queen where our kids laughed and laughed and ate ice cream way too close to bedtime and sang Taylor Swift songs a little too loud.

We are so blessed by these people - even the Beaver fans!

What's in a Name: Morrow Isaiah Edition

Four weeks ago, our hearts were bursting with joy as we welcomed baby Morrow Isaiah into the world and into our family. Joy. Pure joy. When we were walking through some of our darkest days, I clung to God's promises with every ounce of my soul. One of those promises is found in Psalm 30:5 that "weeping may tarry for a night, but joy comes in the morning." In the midst of many tears, I was trusting Jesus that joy was truly going to come.

Another way of saying "morning" is "morrow," as found in one of our all time favorite devotionals, Charles Spurgeon's classic "Morning and Evening." The morning devotional for May 13 is based on Psalm 30:5 and beautifully explains our heart in choosing Morrow's name:

Christian! If thou art in a night of trial, think of the morrow; cheer up thy heart with the thought of the coming of thy Lord. Be patient, for

"Lo! He comes with clouds descending." 

Be patient! The Husbandman waits until He reaps His harvest. Be patient; for you know who has said, "Behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give to every man according as his work shall be." If you are never so wretched now, remember

"A few more rolling suns, at most,
Will land thee on fair Canaan's coast."

Thy head may be crowned with thorny troubles now, but it shall wear a starry crown ere long; thy hand may be filled with cares-it shall sweep the strings of the harp of heaven soon. Thy garments may be soiled with dust now; they shall be white by-and-by. Wait a little longer. Ah! how despicable our troubles and trials will seem when we look back upon them! Looking at them here in the prospect, they seem immense; but when we get to heaven we shall then

"With transporting joys recount,
The labours of our feet."

Our trials will then seem light and momentary afflictions. Let us go on boldly; if the night be never so dark, the morning cometh, which is more than they can say who are shut up in the darkness of hell. Do you know what it is thus to live on the future-to live on expectation-to antedate heaven? Happy believer, to have so sure, so comforting a hope. It may be all dark now, but it will soon be light; it may be all trial now, but it will soon be all happiness. What matters it though "weeping may endure for a night," when "joy cometh in the morning?"

During my "night," I was in the midst of the Bible Study Fellowship study of Isaiah. Isaiah's beautiful prophecy, full of God's promises to His people, carried me through dark hours and breathed new life into my downcast soul. Further, Isaiah means "God saves," and God Himself saved us from the night. We could think of no better middle name for Morrow than the name of God's faithful servant, Isaiah. Welcome Baby Morrow. Sweet baby, you are a tangible expression to us of Jesus's salvation, redemption and joy.

We Made It

Tomorrow marks four weeks since we welcomed Morrow into our family. Wow. I had intended to blog more. Just so that I'd have some way to document our life with four kids, to be able to look back on someday when the delirium of sleep deprivation has worn off. But, the days have flown by in a seemingly endless series of that three-hour cycle. Eat. Awake. Sleep. The last four weeks have seemed like an eternity. And yet, at the same time, they have seemed like just one day.

My house looks like a tornado hit it. A tornado named Jameson who blows through while I'm stuck on the couch feeding a baby, unable to stop his path of destruction. Did you know that in a matter of 15 minutes, a two-year-old can open a cupboard, pull out every board game we own, and dump out every single piece into one big pile. He can also pull out every DVD case. Or every book. Or every toy in the toy bin. Phew. 

Jameson eating cheese on the floor surrounded by the pots and pans he pulled out

I also have no less than four loads of laundry to fold. I have two loads of folded laundry that need to be put away. I have another load of clothes that needs to be washed. And a load of sheets that need to be washed after a certain newborn pooped on our bed in the middle of the night, in the two seconds that a diaper was not secured. 

My kids' suitcase, that they took to their grandparents' house while I was in the hospital, is still sitting at the bottom of the stairs. Half-full. Don't trip on it as you walk into our house. I systematically empty it when I need clothes for them and we happen to be downstairs. 

There is a stack of thank you notes that need to be written. There is a box of baby announcements that need to be addressed and stuffed into envelopes. There are newborn baby pictures that need to be ordered. (Sorry Daveen - I promise I'll get to it). 

Seriously. It's wild. And, I don't know when all of it is going to get done. 

But, everyone is happy. Oh .... we had our share of tears this week - the kids' and mine. I've snapped and apologized. There have been a few rough moments. A few temper tantrums. Everyone has had to adjust. But!! We made it through our first week without Eric being home. And we didn't just scrape by. God showed up with abundant blessing throughout the whole week. 

Jameson on the carousel with Gram today to celebrate that we made it through the week! 

Sweet Eliza refuses to ride on a horse that moves, so she continues to ride on this little one every time we go!

Both of my younger boys are asleep at the same time (a blessing in itself). My older two are having "quiet time." And, I could sleep. Or I could take care of something off that list I just rattled off. But, I really need to stop and build an altar. Like Jacob did in Genesis. In Genesis 32, Jacob was afraid of his brother, Esau. Many years before, Jacob had deceived Esau and stolen his birthright and his blessing.  Because of Esau's anger, Jacob had been forced to flee his home. Now, returning home, Jacob feared what Esau would do to him. In his distress, Jacob called out to God for help, and reminded God of the promises He had made to Jacob. And God showed up and changed Esau's heart toward Jacob. So, Jacob built an altar to "the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone." (Genesis 35:3)

Last week, I was terrified at the prospect of being at home by myself with four kids. I'm not sure what exactly I thought was going to happen. Maybe I was afraid of kids melting down. Maybe I was afraid of me melting down. Or the house burning down? I don't know. But I was distressed. And I was crying a lot. So, I called out to God in my distress and recalled the promises that God has made to me in Scripture. 

God showed up. He answered me in my distress. And He proved He will continue to be with me wherever I go. Even into my first week as a mom on my own with four kids. Now I feel like I need to stop and make a written "altar" to who He is. 

Over the past couple of years, the Lord has impressed on my heart to be honest, to be an open book with my life. To be transparent - a word that used to scare the heck out of me. On Sunday, our first week back at church with Morrow, I didn't even try to hide my tears at church. I figured, if I cry then I cry. If I have to admit that I'm freaked out, then I'll admit it. When people have asked how I'm doing, I've been honest (a novel idea) and said I am good, we love this baby, but I am crying a lot. 

Transparency has been a huge blessing. Because Monday morning, I had friends, friends and more friends getting in touch to say that they were praying for my week. One friend dropped off some treats on my doorstep. Others left a voicemail checking in. My mother-in-law took Eliza to dance class for me. And my sister-in-law took Marshall to Bible study. In the midst of the hectic pace that four kids brings, I didn't feel so alone. Even though I didn't have time to chat with everyone  anyone or to even text everyone back, it was comforting knowing that I had community around me who knew how I was really doing. God showed up through the community of believers that He has built around our family.

Also on Sunday morning, as I told a friend that I'm struggling some, she mentioned a book that she had been reading, My Name is Hope: Anxiety, Depression, and Life after Melancholy, written by John Mark Comer (the pastor of Solid Rock Church in Portland). I downloaded it to my Kindle and started reading it on Sunday night, in the dark quiet of late night baby feeding. 

God used John Mark's description of taking every thought captive to speak to me. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says we are to "take every thought captive to obey Christ." I've heard those words so many times. But, I needed those words to fall afresh on me this week so I would apply them once again, now to my life as a new mom of four.  At 9:00 am, when I started to worry about how I was going to make it to 5:00pm, I shut down those worries. I focused on the task at hand instead. I asked the Lord to be with me right in that moment. Dealing with a temper tantrum, helping Marshall with math, changing a diaper, feeding a baby, being the referee in the older kids' argument. (Maybe all of the above at the same time?). And I had peace. I loved these words from John Mark's book: "The reality is God is your Father. You are his child. You will be okay. You just need to trust him." 

You are his child. You will be okay. Those two sentences have come to mind often through the craziness all week. 

Praise Jesus for reminding me that prayer and the Word meant that peace could guard my heart. Peace was not the absence of conflict of this week. Rather, I had "complete peace right in the middle of the chaos and the noise and the traffic of life." (Quote from John Mark's book). Peace and joy that came only by plodding through the day, by God's grace, with prayer and the Word. Just as the Israelites had just enough manna to get through each day - no more and no less - God provided enough of whatever I needed just to get through each moment. And, you know, it led to a harvest of abundant joy. 

So, the laundry and the mess and the tasks have waited while I've written this down today. But, memories fade, and I want to remember that this week God proved Himself to be the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone. 

We Welcome with Joy . . .

We welcomed baby Morrow Isaiah Compton to our family at 8:39am on March 10, 2013.

Morrow tipped the baby scales at 9 lbs, 4 oz and was 21.5 inches long. We were shocked at how big he was! He was my easiest c-section. Quickest, least painful spinal. Fastest surgery. One sweet baby. More to come soon (or as sleep and four kiddos allow!) . . .

Life Lately

Hmm . . . So, I had my traditional pre-baby pedicure a few days ago . . . which leads me to say that there is some amount of awesomeness to having c-sections. Including knowing when to schedule my pedicure. All of these reasons for loving c-sections will make you think I'm really shallow. But, there has to be a silver lining to having major surgery, so here goes  . . .  it is so easy to schedule childcare for my other kids, I can wear make-up in my pictures and it doesn't all run down my face like it does during labor, I can get my hair cut, colored, and blown-out the day before. Oh, and I don't have to go through labor again - which is a serious bonus because all of my children have had gigantic heads. There I said it.

But, back to the pedicure . . . My sweet friend, Debbie, has been doing my nails and pedicures since I was in college. Back when I had a job, zero children, and extra time and money on my hands to do such things. It used to be a twice a month event for Debbie and I when we could catch up. I think she knew everything about my life. It hardly ever happens anymore, but Debbie was still kind enough to work on her usual day off to give me a pedicure on a day I had a baby-sitter.

And, Debbie asks why I hardly ever blog anymore! Because, she says, she loved my blog. Well, I guess the answer is that I'm tired? I was so sick at the beginning of this pregnancy that something had to give, and most of the time that something was writing and keeping track of the events of our crazy life. I just fell out of the habit of writing and recording our memories on a regular basis. It's probably time to start recording again, since I am having another baby in a matter of days. Crazy when the countdown goes from months, to weeks to days. Thanks for the motivation Debbie (and the fabulous pedicure!)

So, what have we been doing as we countdown the days?

Baby laundry . . . which made us realize how all of our friends and family have blessed us abundantly over the past seven years. We have more newborn and 0-3 month sized outfits than we know what to do with. And, all of them still look brand new. There is nothing like the smell of Dreft!

Soaking up every last minute with these three kiddos, before we have four:

Eric's been busy gaining local celebrity status with his beard. In case you missed it, his beard was even sought after for a photo shoot with a local photographer, Will Bragg. I never knew a beard could gain a person so much attention!

Marshall went to his first Duck basketball game with Eric (thanks for the tickets Uncle Mike and Aunt Janie). Eric and Marshall saw Mike Bellotti in the Club. Marshall said "Mike Who?" He's definitely a Chip Kelley-era kid.  Marshall's highlights were definitely having Sprite and Red Vines in the same evening:

And, we'll leave you with this one of sweet Jameson. This might be a foretaste of things to come with this guy. His teenage years might be trouble: